Attached - Rachel Heller & Amir Levine


By Rachel Heller & Amir Levine

  • Release Date: 2010-12-30
  • Genre: Family & Relationships
Score: 4.5
From 1,164 Ratings


We rely on science to tell us everything from what to eat to when and how long to exercise, but what about relationships? Is there a scientific explanation for why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle? According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, the answer is a resounding "yes."

In Attached, Levine and Heller reveal how an understanding of adult attachment-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:

Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.
In this book Levine and Heller guide readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.


  • Mixed bag, bit judgmental

    By Asdfgholqyeiofbejwldb
    I enjoyed some of the insights this book offers but it’s clear the authors have an easier time relating to people with an anxious attachment style, than they are with avoidantly attached people. The writing’s on the wall in the very first example. The latter group tend to get cast as villains while it’s abundantly reinforced that the needs of the former group are valid. It also promotes people to “just” find a partner who’s secure. Several of the examples of “effective communication”, especially the one the book closes with are borderline manipulative. I learned stuff from this book, but unfortunately can’t recommend it.
  • A must read

    By VR~
    Very insightful!
  • Dishonest

    By onenoneone
    For sure people address relationships in either an acceptance, anxious, or avoidance style, that is rather obvious. What the authors dance around is that likely 95% of the anxious people are female, and 95% of the avoidant people are male(homosexuals excepted). The authors do a politically correct tap dance around the elephant in the room and as such, the value of the book is degraded by their dishonesty. As one avoidant straight male, the most sought after females for a satisfying relationship are avoidant females, AKA Friends with Benefits; unfortunately avoidant females tend to be Lesbians for the most part. Another subject not covered in the book.
  • ♥️

    By Norma Laurent
    Helped me greatly very thankful ♥️
  • Good read - informational

    By fhope222
    It’s a good, informational book. Easy to understand and identify with. Wish they went more into how to figure out what your needs are.
  • Must Read for Relationships

    By gingkelso
    A must read for understanding attachment styles in relationships. I think this book would benefit absolutely anyone who reads it.
  • Every person in the planet should read this book

    By Sarah Hale1
    Mind blown, I needed this book like 20 years ago. I have learned so much about myself and now have new tools to use.
  • This.

    By love,B
    This is what I needed, to accept myself as me and love myself enough to know how I need to be loved and better see the way I need to love those in my relationships.
  • Helpful

    By Flam98647942683
    My therapist had recommended this book and it completely helped me have a better understanding of my partner and myself
  • A must read for everyone

    By JBdesign29
    Such an informative and thought provoking read!